Well, I think I am finished with livejournal. I also plan on cutting back on AIM and everything. I will though be using internet for 1st period so I will be using e-mail if you wish to regularly write me, which I would love you for. So please, write A LOT so I know you all like me. Goodbye, take it easy. email@example.com
time for a social entry. I have had a decent weekend. yesterday i wrote music on my bass all day. the materiaL was pretty Out there. after a few hours i met up with jes and hung out for a little bit. some kid named neVin likes jEs, he has never met her. that is cool i suppose. then we attended a movie. sin city was not as great as everyone says. the concept was very good, Just the way they created the movie was tErrific. maSs murdering in movieS just is not entertaining anymore. today I played music with Christopher story, his guitar playing is amazing. we are going to start playing together regularly, i am stoked. after that i hung out with a couple of friends at central high, we just sAt and talked pretty much, it was fun. and that is my weekend, not very productive but i guess it is fine once in awhile. end.
I seem to disappoint myself quite frequently. Honesty is my strongest characteristic, I am one of the worst individuals I know. I read for hours, calculating how I should manage my life. I know what I need to do, but I seem to always falter. Maybe I am not strong willed enough. Jes says I can not change the way I feel, but I know I can. If society made me this greedy, I can fucking reverse it, and I will. I helped a lot of people out today. Not in sacrifice, but for exchange. I wanted my close friends to compliment me on my kindness. Such bullshit. I deeply apologize to everyone for being a shallow person. I am an object, or at least it seems to be how I portray myself. I do not wish to be, but I have yet to transcend to the point I am working for. I wanted to take Kelli to the show tonight, but I was too worried about making myself on time. How selfish I am. Does a concert mean more to me than a friend? Of course not. But then why did I decide to not pick her up? I wish I could explain my shitty actions, but I am at a loss for words. I cannot apologize enough, forgive me.
Well apparently no one really reads my journal, or just does not wish to discuss. How very exciting. I guess that is expected. I have few friends who would actually take the time to read this anyway. I will continue this since it is an easy way to vent my feelings and ideas. Life has been really good lately, minus my relationship with my father and my attitude toward my fellow peers at school. My dad is just now realizing he is officially old and decides to vent on me. But that is okay I suppose, better me than my mom or anyone else. I would like to think that I am emotionally strong. Why do some children even attend school? They obviously do not wish to be there. I can understand waking up some days and dreading the thought of spending an entire day at school but it seems they do that every day. How miserable. Why not just quit? Work at McDonald's for the rest of your life. In a country built on "freedom" should they not have the choice? Today my entire sociology class discovered that the government is corrupt. What a novel fucking idea. Reality check, our government is driven by greed and power. Jes is by far the greatest individual in my life right now. She is amazing. I wish I did not attach to people so easily. I feel weak and vulnerable, but I do not want to stop for any reason. This Friday I will be supporting the local music scene by attending a concert at Powell High School. The Hotshot Freight Train will be there so I am very excited. Anyway, I think I will go find something productive to spend my time with. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
People are born innocent individuals, full of love and honesty. This wretched society changes humans, it makes us bitter, envious, and powerless. The main objection to communism is that people are innately bad, sinful, and greedy. But then explain to me how the human race climbed to the top of the food chain? By cooperation, man working with man, a classless society surviving by helping each other. Obviously over the years the human conscious has changed, take art for instance. If you were to compare art from 5,000 years ago and modern art you would understand the way we think has somehow changed. And you can not use the Soviet Union as an example, for they never achieved communism, Marx's communism at least, but proletarian bonapartism. I do not think you can classify me as a communist because I live in a capitalist country, but because of my ideology I might be considered a marxist, which I am not ashamed of. If anyone has questions or remarks, I implore you to comment. I do not wish to be misunderstood. I have been struggling lately to define myself politically so I decided to post my final decision, sorry if you disagree with my beliefs.
Why do I create so many of these? It is like starting over. I feel like I am new to everyone, so anything I did before is now obsolete. I'm selling everything I own. When I am finished I hope to own my bed, a bass, an amp, my laptop, books, and a few CDs. Most of my possessions are meaningless. I do not need petty items to waste my life. I need nature, I need people. I would rid myself of this damned computer if it were not for being able to access so much information that would otherwise be unknown to me. I apologize to everyone for creating, yet again, a new user name. But hopefully this one will stick with me. End.